So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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