Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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