Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
