Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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