I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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