awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
