how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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