I wish my penis had an off switch
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
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