Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize