shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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