part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
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