What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
