I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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