Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
