We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
