I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
