his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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