In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Success! We fucked roommates!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
