She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
