You're my little dorito
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
