he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
