How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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