Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
