So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
My pussy is not your playground.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
