I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
