it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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