We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
