the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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