sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
