FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
