Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
