I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
