i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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