In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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