as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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