i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
