Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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