Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
