honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
