I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
