My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
