I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
