It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
