When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
