Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
