my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
