I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
