Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
