Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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