I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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